There are so many vacant lots to choose from. Anyway, here are the categories.
Pillage Depreciation Award
The Pillage Depreciation Award is intended to recognize an individual, business or organization that has significant disinvested in physical improvements to the downtown and uptown areas.
One to three awards will be granted in any one year, depending on the number of press releases set to local media outlets.
The disinvestment might be in the neglect of historic structures, skinflinting a new structure, or torching just about any structure, and should have been substantially completed (or burned) in the previous year ending May 31st. The number of awards granted will be determined by the staff of NA Confidential based upon nominations received, and after we consume enough gin to steady our voting hands.
Pillage Nearsighted Horizon Award
The Pillage Nearsighted Horizon Award recognizes a new or emerging political luminary. Nominees should have been cognizant of downtown or uptown areas for five years or less, having leaped belatedly into the fray out of sheer opportunism.
Pillage Potemkin Facade Award
The Pillage Potemkin Facade Award recognizes a politician, business or organization that has best presented a bright, shiny exterior in the downtown or uptown areas, without meaningful substance.
Nominees must have been in the business of deception for 10 years or more
Pillage Unfulfillment Award
The Pillage Unfulfillment Award recognizes an individual who has made a significant devaluation to the downtown or uptown areas. The devaluation may be through one significant act of vandalism or through years of ongoing erosion.
- An individual in public service who has demonstrated commitment to political patronage at the expense of business districts.
- An individual affiliated with a business or non-profit organization who has personally compiled the most brownie points via membership on appointed boards.
- An individual who has been responsible for a specific public subsidy to out-of-town corporate development companies — note that the pre-calculated mayoral campaign finance donation must have cleared the bank before this trophy can be claimed.