ASK THE BORED: The wonderful world of Market Street trip hazards.

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I’m turning over a new leaf … on January 1. Meanwhile it’s Festivus.

These stakes jut up from the cute gravel on the north side of Market Street between Pearl and State, where in 2019 Team Gahan spent lots more money than the Horseshoe Foundation donated to them in order to beautify according to the suburban design templates of HWC Engineering.

It’s an aesthetic atrocity overall, more reminiscent of Mussolini’s fascist Italy than anything belonging in a Midwestern city, but that’s a topic for future archaeologists to consider.

THIS is a trip hazard.

There are supposed to be wires attached to the tree, but they’re wrapped around the trunk; this is just as well, given that the wires are invisible at night and snag humans (little flags would help, right?), but the remaining untended stakes are just as hazardous.

At least on Terry Middleton’s side of the street — lavished with money he voted to approve as a member of the Redevelopment Commission, which in turn has improved the value of his property — the trip hazards are quite well lit.

On the south side of Market Street, which was lavished with nothing in terms of “improvement” money in spite of the considerable investments in property made by Steve Resch and Todd Coleman, we’re lucky to have one of three ancient street lights lit. For months all three were burned out even as a million bucks landed 100 feet away. Now one works (photo last Friday evening).

That’s nice, festive — and dark.

Meanwhile a tree was planted in front of the Pints&union door, this being the place where customers congregate, enter and exit. To my knowledge neither Resch nor any of us were asked if this made any sense; it merely was done, and people began tripping over the wires and stakes, something that seemingly never occurred to the planners.

Soon the wires were loose and the stakes uprooted, then I watched as successive lawn care contractors watered the tree but did nothing about the stakes and wires even when I mentioned it to them.

It’s ridiculous, but don’t look at me.

I voted for Seabrook.

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